Squirrel Chasing 101A - Outside Squirrels

OK efurrybody take your seats...it's time to begin. This is Squirrel Chasing 101. Is everyone in the right class???


Efurrybody settle down and let's get started!!

Frankie, no passing love notes to Ruby and Penny!! 

Benny and Lily...am I going to have to separate you two...No arguing in class.


Today's class is on outside squirrel chasing. Where we will concentrate on the art and skill of being able to chase and tree a squirrel and maybe, JUST MAYBE, one day you will catch one!!

Unfortunately, I can't help you with the catching part. We Dogkateers have never caught a squirrel, The-Jakey-Jump 

This jumping has helped Jakey come pretty close once or twice. But they always seem to outrun us! Has anyone in the class ever caught a squirrel?? If you have, please share with the class what you have done with it.

*crickets chirping*

Well if somefurry has caught a squirrel, and hasn't stopped by yet, please let us know in the comments what you did with it.

Now, on to the good stuff!! Now who knows who the leader of the AWOS is?? Lightning, do you know??  No???? Maybe if you ask Thunder very nicely he will tell you.

Mr. Hawtness himself (doesn't he look HAWT, HAWT, HAWT in his tux...*swooooon*) has written an expert testimonial on his most favorite way to chase squirrels.  I have learned everything I know from Tank and will demonstrate the key points after I read his testimonial!

Tank's Testimonial, as read by Dory:

"Dory asked me if I would share my favorite way to chase squirrels with you. I said yes because I think she's hawt. (REALLY, he SAID THAT!!! *more swooons*)

Fortified with my (meager) breakfast rations, I head down to the creek just beyond my backyard and find a nice shady spot to lie down. Then, I wait. It usually doesn't take very long to spot a squirrel. I stare at him and he stares back. His beady rodent eyes beckon me to give chase, but I hold back. I want him to feel cocky because that's when a squirrel will make mistakes. Ever so slowly, I stand up. Our eyes are still locked and I can tell he's full of bravado. I remain perfectly still lulling him into a false sense of security. Within a few more minutes, he no doubt will be mocking me. I'm patient. I wait some more. It takes years of experience to know when the time is right to commence chasing, but I can tell you this much... if the squirrel begins to throw nuts at you, you've waited too long.

I decide that it's time to make my move and spring into action going from zero to top squirrel chasing speed in seconds. The squirrel is totally shocked and shifts from cocky to distressed just as fast. Within inches of being captured, instinct kicks in and the varmint takes off running. I continue to give chase while barking things at him like "Yo rat breath, Mama's loadin' up the shotgun!"

At this point, the squirrel has lost all confidence. He's scared and thinks this might be the end of the line. He has no choice but to scamper up a tall, leafy tree in hasty retreat. Well aware this is a cowardly thing to do, his will to survive supersedes any desire he might have for a fair fight. I sit at the base of the tree for awhile looking up at him. I bark a few HBO words and let him know I'm disgusted with his wimpy behavior. He feels defeated and embarrassed.

Life is good.

Respectfully submitted,
Cmdr. Tank, OWAS, Ret. "

Isn't he the COOLEST squirrel hunter EVER!!?? I'm so glad I am not a squirrel in his domain!

If you liked his speech make sure click here (or you can click on his picture) and let him know. I'm sure he would accept any kibbles you could send(word on the street is that he doesn't get enough noms).

Now let's highlight the key points of his speech and, in my opinion, the most important things to do when chasing squirrels.


Before you choose a spot,  you may want to survey your backyard and see if you can snoofle out where a squirrel may be.

1-Be P-A-T-I-E-N-T - I know that is a HORRIBLE word, but it is VERY important to LET the tree rat THINK he has the upper hand.


2-Wait for the right moment....ths might take a while, so if it is too hot outside and you have a doggie door and window that looks out into the backyard you may want to stay in the cool A/C while stalking the tree rat!


3-Then RUN LIKE THE WIND....tear out the doggie door, or from whatever spot you are lying and GET THE SQUIRREL!!!!

4-If you catch him....welllllll let us know if you catch him and we can deal with that when it happens....

5-Chances are you will chase him up a tree like Tank did (and Jakey and I do). If this is the case sit under the tree, or even better stand with your front paws against the tree and bark HBO words like Tank did and let him know what a chicken he is not to fight you face to face!!

Now...any questions??? Just ask them in the comments and I will try to get to them before class tomorrow morning!!

Now you are certified in Outside Squirrel Chasing for Beginners, here is a badge you can proudly display if you would like! 

You were all pawesome students!! Yes, even you Ms. Lilac...I admire your attitude, we are so sorry you didn't have your own fan for the class...we will make sure we have it for you tomorrow!!

....Speaking of tomorrow, we will be learning how to chase squirrels inside. City furries need a way to get their frustrations out. I know I  if something like THIS happened to me everyday and I had no way to let my frustrations out I would be tempted to run outside and might get hurt:


Tessa the Maltese said...

Oh my Miss Dory what a pawsomely interesting class! Tank's Testimonial was very scary but filled with lots of impawtant stuffs!

I have a question: What happens when one of us CATCHES the wily squirrel????

I is so proud to have been in your class and look forward to tomorrows Inside Squirrel Chasing!


bichonpawz said...

Oh my goodness!!! We have learned alot from your very fascinating class!!! We usually have a problem with attention....LadyBug kind of has ADD...but whatever...I, Chloe, am very good at treeing squirrels!!! I think it is quite funny that you call them tree rats!!! BOL! We have never heard them called that before!! We are very proud to be in your class too and look forward to tomorrow's fun lesson about INDOOR Squirrel Chasing! WOOHOO!! xoxo Chloe and LadyBug

Momma Tea (also Ronnii and Uji whose open ids wont work) said...

Mee dids enjoy yor class Miss Dory mee will putts all yoo has tawt me into praktice rite now.

Sugar the Golden Retriever said...

Woof! Woof! LOVE chasing squirrels and my friend chipmunk ... they are just so fast n quick. They sure know how to climb n jump so high. Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

Roo said...

Ha! That was a great squirrel chasing class! Excellent tips :) Especially about being patient! That one I have to work on ;)

Waggin at ya,

PeeS: Found y'all over at Finn's flower show. Great photos of you in the field of flowers! Followin your tails :)

Kitcaboodles said...

Ooh Tank and Dory are such good teachers. We wish we had trees, but being kitties it's probably a good job we don't as we'd probably climb up in hot pursuit and get stuck! We will however be paying close attention to your indoor class tomorrow... Think we'll be good at that :) purrs from Darcy and Sookie

Madi and Mom said...

MOL I especially like the part about meager breakfast rations...I can identify with that myself. Golly gee how do the moms expect us to function on such tiny portions.

I have a quesiton:
Once you catch the tree rodent...do you have a favorite gourmet receipe for or is it a free for all food orgie?
Hugs from your BFFF

road-dog-tales said...

Dory - This was a RIVETING class! We are barking at the door now so we can get outside and practice these squirrel chasing tactics! We'll go tell Tank how much we appreciated his tips, too! We appreciate all your hard work in schooling us in this ever-important skill!


The Road Dogs

SAS....Sammy, Andy and Shelly said...

What a fun class!!!!!!!! We think it should work for us kitties, too!!!!!!

Jazzi said...

Great class!! My cousin in San Antonio, Ivy shes a westie has actually caught her a squirrel a couple yrs back. She was soo PROUD!!


Pibble said...

It's okay that you can't climb trees. We think it's just as important to keep them running as it is to catch them. Actually, if we did catch one, we don't think mom would be too happy... So we run them up the trees and out of the yard!

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Lightning here - I asked Thunder who that commander was and he said he wasn't sharing any of his knowledge with the likes of a pipsqueak like me - hrmmmph on him.

We have so much to learn, and now we really need to work on luring those squirrels to our yard - very few ever dare to put their paws on our turf.

Great lesson.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

Tank said...

The Jakey Jump is AWESOME! He's catching on fast and even inventing his own moves!

Great job with the class Dory. Thanks for inviting me to be part of it.

George the Lad said...

Wow Dory some great tips there, I've only ever seen them in the woods around here, be back tomorrow for the inside chasing!!!

Oskar said...

This is an excellent class for both beginners and tested squirrel chasers alike. I hate it when their fluffy little tails escaps our teeth my mere millimeters!

Nubbin wiggles,

Benny and Lily said...

awesome class. Now we know a few more tricks
Benny & Lily

Mr. Pip said...

Oh, now I know what I am doing wrong - I am too impatient. Thanks so much for this great class. I will most definitely be back tomorrow since I am a city dog.

Your pal, Pip

houndstooth said...

That was a fantastic lesson! My cousin Lily bit the tail off a squirrel in her yard last summer. They call him Stumpy. I've had several run ins with squirrels at the dog park, but none of them ever come into our yard!


P.S. Lilac says that she could catch a squirrel if she wanted to! She just sends her cabana boy out t get one for her!

I typed it, now get your mouth off my tail!

Mango said...

Miss Dory! That was a very challenging but educational class. Now if I could just get some squirrels to come into my yard! I'm looking forward to tomorrow's lesson because momma says she thinks we have squirrels in the attic which counts as inside.


Maggie Mae said...

You guys did great! I just know dat EVERYBODY learned sumptin' today! :)

Woofs and Licks,
Maggie Mae

♥Mona + Weenie + Mommy, too♥ said...

Wow!! Very informative. We'll be back tomorrow.

{{{huggies}}}...Mona & Weenie


Miss Dory
I promise I will do this homework assignment. That was a crazy squirrel still shot you got.

SquirrelQueen said...

Awesome class Miss Dory, we were on the edge of our seats to see what happened next.

Being cats when we chase squirrels we follow them up the tree but then the dastardly squirrel will jump to another tree and leave us embarrassingly stranded. Any advice?

Cindi Lou and The Kitten Krew

Kari in Vegas said...

This is an awesome class


Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

*whew* I'm so glad we caught up on this lesson! Tank's input was Very Useful! I think we haven't been effective enough in our use of HBO barks, because the silly tree rats sit up in their trees and laugh at us, so we are going to spend today practicing! And yes, Tank is Hawt, and we are totally jealous that he thinks you are Hawt, too!

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus